Fake Stephen Sightings: Impostor Alert!

Hey Nation! I didn’t think this week was going to turn out so well, what with there being no new episodes of the Colbert Report, but sweet Lincoln was I wrong! Not only has Stephen been out on the town, but several heroes have seen him and reported their sightings! Still, that hasn’t stopped some people from taking advantage of the week–and pretending to be Stephen Colbert!

Just take a look at another fake Stephen I found on the internet today: Jamie Gold. Apparently he’s from LA, and he goes to poker tournaments with quite the poker face—but his hand of cards is not the only thing he’s hiding!

Here’s a screenshot I found of Jamie Gold’s website–don’t let the extremely detailed black and white portrait throw you though! He definitely looks like Stephen!

And here’s another shot of Jamie Gold pretending to be bored–or should I say pretending to be Stephen, pretending to be bored! Well let’s just say I’m bored, Jamie Gold!

OK Nation! Keep sending in your Stephen sightings! And in the interest of time, I’ll keep trusting you that these sightings are 100% truthful!

Real Stephen Sightings!

Hey Nation! Yesterday I wrote about all the fake Stephen Sightings happening on the internet—that Dr. Philip Zelikow sure has a lot of nerve looking like Stephen! And since Stephen is probably not in the studio and more likely out on the town, I also asked you to send in some Stephen Sightings, which several of you did! Let’s just say I am extremely impressed that Stephen found time to be in so many places in so little time, often simultaneously. I’m not surprised though! I mean if anybody can do it, it’s Stephen! So here are some sightings!

• Just was walking around Times Square, near the Hard Rock Café. Does Stephen play drums? I’m pretty sure I saw Stephen in the gift shop buying a pair of Hard Rock commemmorative drumsticks.
• Hey Avery, I was on the F train yesterday and saw a guy reading the newspaper. I think it was AM New York. Pretty sure it was Stephen. Actually now that I think about it, it was Metro. Whatever one has the green logo.
• This isn’t technically a sighting, but yesterday I accidentally dialed a number and got somebody’s cell phone. The guy picked up, I apologized, that was pretty much it. But he struck me as the kind of guy who may be Stephen.
• Where does Stephen get his hair cut? Is it Astor Barbershop? I cut a man’s hair yesterday who told me to give him the “Stephen Colbert.”

And here’s one more sighting for you—or should I say a fake sighting: I found yet another shot of a Philip Zekilow, this time going around town, giving speeches about how he’s Stephen Colbert!

OK! Keep sending in your Stephen Sightings! But only send them in if they are 100% verifiable! That’s the only way I’ll post them!

Fake Stephen Sightings: Imposter Alert!

Hello Nation! Since apparently Stephen isn’t taping new episodes this week, that can only mean one thing: He is not inside the studio! Which can only mean one thing: At this very moment, Stephen is probably walking around town or doing something awesome in plain view of the rest of us! Which can only mean it’s time for more Stephen Sightings! So please, if you’re walking around town or doing something awesome, and you see Stephen there, let me know immediately!

Meanwhile, I’ve noticed that at least one person has already taken advantage of
Stephen’s week off–by pretending to be Stephen in pictures on the internet!

Here is a photo of a man named Dr. Philip Zelikow, who not only is in the US Department of State, but thinks it’s totally OK to walk around and yell at kids for not knowing he’s Stephen! But he’s not! Check it out!:

And here Dr. Philip Zelikow is again! I bet he had this picture taken after he yelled at a few more kids!

And it looks like Dr. Philip Zelikow thinks he can just pretend he’s Stephen and check in at the Marriott whenever he wants to! Unbelievable!

Have you seen any Stephen impostors? Email me and let me know!

November 7, 2005

• Is Stephen growing a beard? I saw a guy on 23rd and Ninth the other day who looked just like Stephen, only with a beard. No need to reply, just letting you know.
• Every year after Halloween, I make a run to my local CVS and buy all the obsolete themed candy that they sell for like 10% of the retail price. Anyway who's in front of me in line this year but Stephen Colbert! He was buying a lot of toothbrushes and dental hygiene products. Gave me a pretty weird look, too.
• Totally didn't realize this, but Stephen and I have the same physical therapist! I'd been going there for years and didn't see him till yesterday. I introduced myself, and he couldn't have been nicer - he's got a sprained finger (too cute!). Very inspiring - I'm that much closer to walking again.
• Getting some cash yesterday, I totally saw Paul McCartney when he pulled up to the ATM next to me! I just about lost it, but he couldn't have been nicer! What a sweetheart.
• Saw Stephen at work yesterday. Full disclosure: I am a graphics designer for the Colbert Report.

October 31, 2005

• Me and some I-banking buddies were heading home after hitting the clubs, hard. Jimmy's got one girl on each arm, and I'm cranked to the gills, but I could've sworn I saw Colbert chase down a purse-snatcher on 2nd Avenue. I could be wrong though - I was cranked to the gills.
• Did you see that guy parachuting out of the helicopter yesterday? It was over the city, right around Midtown. I'm not sure if it was Stephen, but isn't that just the sort of thing he'd do?!
• Hey, love the site. Just wanted to say that I saw Stephen hanging out in Madison Square Park yesterday, walking a dog. Not sure if it was his dog.
• Yesterday I was buying a salad at the Cosi near my office, and saw Stephen Colbert get a salad. He didn't pay for it. Not because he's famous or anything, he had one of those cards with ten stamps on it.