Every presidential election year, California's 55 electoral college votes go to the Democratic candidate just because more people voted for him. (2:54)
Nitro Girl is the most patriotic giant American woman since the Statue of Liberty -- and she does it all without inviting immigrants to invade our country. (4:29)
Stephen is upset that Saddam Hussein was executed while Stephen was on vacation, especially as he was already planning a 30-minute special for it. (3:16)
Viewers alert Stephen to the fact that Killer is on a commando mission to rescue Stephen Jr. and couldn't possibly have been on the previous night's show. (2:08)
Stephen Colbert answers viewers' questions about the troops in Iraq, the Better Know a District map and the best way to clean the American flag. (3:24)
Liberal radio host Russ Lieber debates Stephen and plugs his book, "Raising Your Voice by Raising Your Hand: A Non-Confrontational Dissenter's Guide to Fighting Back Politely." (4:57)
Tonight: Who's responsible for losing the Iraq war (even though we're winning), the ethics of buying diamonds, and a drug advocate who knows the date of the end of the world. (0:41)