Stephen honors the heroes who toil to plump our sunken cheeks, hoist our drooping buttocks and thread serrated plastic sutures through the fatty layers beneath our necks. (1:31)
A Senator admits to seeing prostitutes, Michael Chertoff warns of all sorts of terrorist attacks, and Stephen brings a magnifying glass to his interview with an ant expert. (0:36)
Tonight: the early symptoms of mad cow disease, which include short term memory loss, and the early symptoms of mad cow disease, which include short term memory loss. (0:27)
Tonight: America loses another place to hide bodies, a report that will permanently raise your eyebrows and Stephen finds out what Jesse Jackson's up to now that racism is over. (0:26)
Political controversy rages over women's health in Texas, Stephen reviews the Westminster Dog Show, and Lance Armstrong explains why he never won the Tour de America. (0:33)
The terrorist watch list knows too many terrorists, Stephen provides more analysis of the primaries, and George Johnson will respond to six minutes of sustained shouting. (0:42)