Stephen proposes a military plan that will keep marriage pure between a man and a woman, regardless of whether that man and woman want to stay married. (3:12)
Stephen's advice to college graduates -- move back with your parents, pad your resume, apply for credit cards, don't backpack in Europe, streak the quad and don't graduate. (4:36)
Tonight, Stephen raises the alert from brown to grizzly, Hollywood tries to destroy America and, hopefully, Connie Chung doesn't reveal what keeps romance with Maury alive. (0:27)
Stephen suggests that the Republican senators who lost their seats be impregnated with a womb transplant to save the embryos they wanted to destroy. (4:01)
Tonight: Moving on from the Iraq Study Group report, the triumphant return of Better Know a District, and Stephen's advice to gay sex columnist Dan Savage: Stop being gay. (0:29)