Stephen reminisces about his favorite childhood toys: Captain Lead, General Light Socket, Admiral Dry Cleaning Bag, Lieutenant Fluffy -- and his wad of asbestos. (1:13)
Stephen stocks up the eggnog in December so he can nog out all year long. His doctor says he's got a mass of powdered nutmeg obstructing his lower intestine. Again. (1:29)
Rainbow covered bridges paved with babies' dreams has nothing on moths that drink the tears of sleeping magpies. That's the most poetic f**king thing Stephen has ever heard. (1:37)
Stephen makes a list of people destroying Christmas and talks to "The Sims" designer, Will Wright, and the Christian Coalition sticks to anti-poverty talking points. (0:34)