A cricket coach encourages his players to have sex before matches, and Stephen starts his Canadian "Don't Be an Ice-Hole" letter-writing campaign. (04:07)
Sarah Palin asks the troops to say hi to her son, Track, and Commanding General Charles H. Jacoby Jr. chooses his favorite soldier out of the 130,000. (05:30)
Stephen sends a shout out to three army soldiers who've replaced the sign pointing to Baghdad with a sign pointing to The Colbert Report's studio. (2:40)
General Raymond Odierno offered to shave Stephen's head, but Stephen wasn't taking a mere suggestion from a mere general. Good thing the Commander-in-Chief was on hand to give the order. (4:05)