Thanks to Scottish surgeons, the only way America can protect its ports is by crossbreeding dolphins with Homeland Security director Michael Chertoff. (5:24)
Stephen thinks he had something to do with the election of new French President Nicolas Sarkozy since he doesn't pronounce the "T" in his last name. (2:07)
Stephen is impressed that Warren Buffett can hire Bill Gates to spend his money, but disappointed he didn't consider the Stephen & Melinda Gates Foundation. (2:19)