Using the DaColbert Code, Stephen discovers who killed John F. Kennedy, who's to blame for the slow response to Hurricane Katrina and who will win this year's Academy Awards. (4:14)
After reading an article about babies being "turned straight" in the womb, Stephen feels everything should be genetically engineered to look more like the Bible says. (3:20)
Stephen doesn't know the long-term effects of medicating kids, but he does know the long-term effects it will have on the pharmaceutical industry. (2:44)
Without Archie to focus on, Betty will have to do something sad like rediscover her own dreams and devote her life to making the world a better place. (06:06)
With scientists trying to prove that morality has a biological basis, Stephen thinks it's about time for religion to take things away from science. (3:48)