Based on the Southern Republican Leadership Conference straw poll, The Colbert Report predicts that Bill Frist will win the presidential election in 2008. (2:08)
Stephen tips his hat to the Sex Pistols, the Gateway Grizzlies and Oral Roberts University and wags his finger at the Department of Defense and the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. (5:11)
Stephen honors the heroes who toil to plump our sunken cheeks, hoist our drooping buttocks and thread serrated plastic sutures through the fatty layers beneath our necks. (1:31)
Stephen recalls the uneventful events from his week off that only included performing medical experiments on himself and traveling the world behind a mask. (1:58)