Banning light bulbs, giant Mexicans babies crossing the border, the Miss America pageant and the misrepresentation of bear hugs are all major threats. (4:33)
Thanks to Scottish surgeons, the only way America can protect its ports is by crossbreeding dolphins with Homeland Security director Michael Chertoff. (5:24)
After a mama polar bear rejected her cub the zoo planned to care for it but activist Frank Albrecht felt the cub should be killed -- Stephen agrees. (1:49)
The New York Times announces they're reducing the width of their newspaper by an inch and a half -- that's an inch and a half less of state secrets revealed everyday. (1:40)
Italy exchanged five Taliban members for an Italian journalist, bestowing upon themselves the honor of being the third member of the Axis of Evil for the week. (4:48)