South Carolina has come up with a program to help control the prisoner population -- inmates can reduce their sentences by donating vital organs. (3:03)
Marvel Comics' Joe Quesada has bequeathed the shield of Captain America to the only man who has the red, white and blue balls to carry the mantle: Stephen Colbert. (1:47)
Stephen suggests that the Republican senators who lost their seats be impregnated with a womb transplant to save the embryos they wanted to destroy. (4:01)
Stephen wants a generation of daredevils, custom built to thrive in our brave new world who won't need social security and who'll want to go to Iraq for spring break. (3:12)