North Korea's agreement to peacefully disarm its nuclear program is a catastrophe, since the United States doesn't negotiate with terrorists. (Just joking, Saudi Arabia.) (3:41)
The Iranian government began rationing gas to its citizens, causing long lines and riots. This is fantastic news -- Iran today is like America in the 1970s. (3:00)
Italy exchanged five Taliban members for an Italian journalist, bestowing upon themselves the honor of being the third member of the Axis of Evil for the week. (4:48)