As a fifth grader and small businessman, Andy Gellman has to think about how longer school hours will affect the economy. Download The Word iPhone App NOW! (05:46)
Environmentalists target soft toilet paper, Kang Lee exposes the lies parents tell kids, and mountain pine beetles prevent us from shooting bears. (07:14)
Police tase a 76-year-old man five times, juice a soccer mom in front of her kids, and test out the new Taser X3, which can paralyze three people without reloading. (05:59)
America needs to get back in the game of overpopulation by instituting a one-child minimum policy and letting teens spread sex misinformation to their peers. (04:51)