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Sean Hannity, inexplicable football in hand, dissects the news with political luminaries during his "Great American Panel" segment. (01:15)
The Fox News team soldiers on in its Iowa caucus coverage despite the loss of basic mental functions, and CNN debuts its tricky flick technology. (03:42)
Stephen worries about the fate of his over-the-counter man-seed and responds to non-factual statements by Senator Jon Kyl. (04:41)
After Fox News' Freudian slip, Megyn Kelly clarifies that Mitt Romney and Barack Obama are not the same person, philosophically or otherwise. (03:20)
The soft-on-terror-crats mischaracterize Michigan's ice shaving machines as a frivolous waste of tax money, but there's no reason that fighting terror shouldn't be fun. (04:42)
Fox New's Bret Baier asks Mitt Romney questions he doesn't want to answer, thereby making him look bad. (03:24)
Stephen calls out the lamestream media for "Boob Week" and other cheap ratings gropes. (03:56)
There's never been a better time to invest in things that fall off celebrities, and Goldline International executives face fraud and theft charges. (05:09)
Co-founder and director of 350.org Bill McKibben explains why the Keystone XL pipeline will mean "game over" for the climate. (06:39)
The CNBC Republican presidential debate will be forever remembered for one thing and one thing only, but Rick Perry can't remember what it is. (03:45)
Stephen knows that if Socialists had their druthers, no one would own their own druthers. (03:43)
Stephen knows that when someone misbehaves, it's natural to assume that person is a Democrat. (03:52)
ESPN robs Americans of the proper football preparation procedures, so Stephen takes it upon himself to compose a Monday Night Football theme. (04:36)
If Barack Obama really believed in his jobs bill, he should have presented it in a leather-bound volume with gold filigree and illuminated initials. (03:03)
If you can't stand to be away from The Colbert Report, hug your television. That warmth you feel isn't radiation -- it's Stephen loving you back. (03:58)
In politics, messaging is everything, so Stephen turns to the Persuadulux 6000 to generate a Colbert Nation word cloud from Super PAC donor write-ins. (03:52)
Frank Luntz will help Stephen create a Colbert Super PAC ad that works for Democrats and Republicans and scores with the South and the North. (07:10)
Part-time weather balloon Rush Limbaugh exposes the government-manufactured heat index conspiracy, while SpongeBob brainwashes kids with global warming propaganda. (04:59)
Barack Obama throws himself a lavish birthday party instead of working on the economy, so the recession will last four hours longer. (03:34)
Free birth control will wipe out the American race and instantly turn daughters into wanton harlots with insatiable sexual appetites. (04:42)