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Conservative pundits criticize the Obama White House for throwing an extravagant Halloween party for the children of U.S. troops. (05:06)
Ron Paul supporters release a pin-up calendar, Allen West defends waterboarding, and Forever 21 discontinues a controversial necklace. (06:02)
How dare costume-makers single out women for debasing when guys would love to get slutty, too. (02:15)
A new immigration law has unintended consequences, Halloween horror strikes, and Taylor Branch believes that college athletes should get paid. (00:31)
Planet huggers turn America's Almond Joy into almond shame, and a Christian group in Texas hands out Bibles instead of candy. (03:31)
Ben & Jerry's endorses Occupy Wall Street, and Stephen calls on Colbert Nation to reclaim its place atop Ice Cream Mountain. (04:28)
GOP presidential candidates debate in Las Vegas, Republicans want to abolish the EPA, and Ali Soufan discusses the war on terror. (00:30)
Occupy Wall Street, a self-described leaderless resistance movement, intends to occupy Wall Street until their one demand is decided upon and met. (03:06)
The Wall Street Journal features a drawing of Snooki, and Stephen sings a spooky song that will make Jon Stewart drop a load of reason in his pants. (04:49)
Stephen teaches a spooky song that everyone will sing together at the rally to make Jon Stewart drop a load of reason in his pants. (00:21)
Come to the March to Keep Fear Alive disguised as your biggest fear, which Stephen assumes is the end of the show. (00:21)
Protect yourself from Muslim vampires by rubbing your neck with pork sausage, and protect your privacy by wearing costumes to the March to Keep Fear Alive. (05:35)
Hamid Karzai is declared the winner of the Afghan election after Abdullah Abdullah withdraws from the race. (01:43)
Gitmo prisoners may have been tortured with rock music, and Bill Simmons talks about his 700-page book on basketball. (00:30)
Halloween masks spread the H1N1 virus, candy sends kids toward a life of crime, and dogs wear matching sexy costumes. (05:12)
Stephen wants you to ring doorbells and demand that your neighbors make a tangible commitment to America in the form of a sugary treat. (07:50)
Critics wonder what happened to the old John McCain. Wait a minute, there's an older John McCain? (00:36)
Stephen wishes he could wish everyone a happy Halloween, but he doesn't believe in celebrating panhandling. (2:10)
If there's one thing about Stephen that you and the psychopathic killer who may be standing behind you know, it's that he's no alarmist. (2:32)
For Halloween, The Report staff tries their scariest move yet on Stephen. (1:40)