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Stephen supports President Bush by antagonizing the Democrats and telling Congress to strap on their balls. (2:49)
Samuel Alito believes that a woman should have to tell her husband she's having an abortion, even if he's bearing arms -- which, constitutionally, could include machine guns. (3:51)
Stephen highlights the various aspects of Harriet Miers on The Report's agenda. (0:32)
Russ Lieber's hatred of white pumpkins forces Stephen to love them. (2:20)
Stephen calls out Harriet Miers for being this episode's word: a "quitter." (2:52)
Harriet Miers is under siege, great drinking cities are in danger and Lou Dobbs of "Lou Dobbs Tonight" appears on The Colbert Report. (0:36)
Bush has got a tough hard slog with Harriet Miers, but pussying out now would send a signal of weakness to the homegrown insurgency trying to derail the process. (1:48)
Anyone can read the news to you; Stephen promises to feel the news at you. (2:40)