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Stephen violates the Constitution, aliens invade Earth, and Fen Montaigne talks about Antarctic penguins. (00:34)
The Colbert Report goes hi-def, and Morgan Freeman reads a list of untrustworthy things. (05:01)
Stephen exposes America's biggest racists: Colin Powell, Sonia Sotomayor and Barack Obama. (03:53)
Stephen facilitates some trash talking between the U.S. Bobsled and Skeleton Teams. (00:46)
With his faint praise of Barack Obama, Harry Reid ushers the word "negro" back into the common parlance. (02:59)
Morgan Freeman, the most trusted voice in America, reads a list of untrustworthy things. (04:54)
Barack Obama awards the Medal of Freedom to Sidney Poitier, the NRA recognizes Sarah Palin for gun collecting, and Joe Jonas steals Stephen's idea at the "Teen Choice Awards." (05:19)