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Michele Bachmann gets a commanding 80% of the votes she paid for at the Iowa straw poll, and "Rick Parry" receives at least 718 write-in votes. (07:36)
Stephen looks at how corporate spending affects elections from the Domino's Pizza Pipin' Hot Extra Cheesy Update Corner, and Garry Wills writes a book about himself. (00:40)
Garry Wills calls himself a disciple of Doris Kearns Goodwin and says the Tea Party movement is a racist endeavor. (05:32)
Eugene Robinson sees four categories of black America, and Stephen should feel threatened by all of them. (07:11)
Stephen asks Barry Levine whom he has to sleep with to make it onto the National Enquirer cover. (06:04)
Someone finally agrees to accept Gitmo detainees, and Stephen nails poet Paul Muldoon. (00:30)
Paul Muldoon and Stephen recite "Tea" together to help it become the number one poem in America. (04:55)
If the Emmy Awards committee eliminates Stephen's category, he'll just make himself eligible for all the other categories. (05:40)
Charlie Savage says President Bush is acting like a king -- sounds like someone didn't get dukedom! (5:35)
According to the Pulitzer's, Henry Ward Beecher is the Most Famous Man in America, but the last time Stephen checked, he didn't have a diet named after him or a sex tape. (3:36)
Let's just say Stephen Colbert is a character, and he's retarded, but he doesn't know it. (3:06)