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The Colbert Report Search Results
An MIT study finds that longer essays get better scores, so ideally your writing section should read like Glenn Beck's teleprompter. (05:07)
Once you get a job interview with Stephen's celebrity endorsement, you'll want to grow a mustache. (05:21)
America needs to get back in the game of overpopulation by instituting a one-child minimum policy and letting teens spread sex misinformation to their peers. (04:51)
If Republicans want to stop Sonia Sotomayor's nomination, they must accuse her of bigotry, uncover her secrets and make her weigh in on abortion. (06:19)
Stephen advises Kim Jong-un to kidnap random people, invent wacky mythology and be fashionable. (04:22)
The GOP needs to make painful, soul-searching, superficial changes to their image without altering anything inside. (04:27)
Stephen explores love and lust with feminists, authors and interns. (6:47)
Lincoln's oratory made him president, but his beard made him a legend. (04:43)
Interns learn valuable job skills like getting coffee, fetching copy paper, and moisturizing a TV host. (4:04)
Stephen advises us on Karl Rove's advice on winning contested convention. (4:14)
Current threats include Oprah, publicists, Austrian animal rights activists, spiders and Knut, the abandoned polar bear. (6:31)
With more people running for president than ever before, it's never been easier to lose. (5:42)
Stephen suggests one way to get over Seasonal Affective Disorder is to take a trip to the warm weather of Iraq. (2:43)
High school is just four years of your life. Tough it out and you'll never have to go through it again. (3:11)
Stephen gives a few tips on how to stay safe on the Internet and the best way to clean your computer. (3:38)
Arming yourself and getting it on will help protect your plasma screen TV during a blackout. (3:59)
By staying away from people and cutting down trees, you can greatly reduce the chances of starting a wildfire. (3:36)
Stephen's advice to college graduates -- move back with your parents, pad your resume, apply for credit cards, don't backpack in Europe, streak the quad and don't graduate. (4:36)
Stephen put 10 cans of creamed corn in his tank, and he didn't get anywhere. (3:34)
He's no longer Stephen Colbert, human. He's Stephen Colbert, Inc., a wholly owned subsidiary of Colbertco. (4:33)
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