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The Alien Hunter warns against luring extraterrestrials, but a possible pirate already gave away Earth's position. (04:50)
Stephen breaks out the Atone Phone for the Jewish High Holidays and testifies before Congress. (04:19)
Stephen tries to decipher Glenn Beck's language and reviews "Sex and the City 2." (03:36)
To restore truthiness and fight Jon Stewart's creeping reasonableness, Stephen announces his March to Keep Fear Alive. (08:22)
Michio Kaku believes we will have something resembling a Harry Potter invisibility cloak within the coming decades. (04:09)
Authorities capture the attempted Times Square bombing suspect, and Mark Moffett says humans have a lot in common with ants. (00:33)
Stephen "Hef on Wheels" Hawking wouldn't go back in time to kill Hitler or save Jesus -- he'd tag Marilyn Monroe in her prime. (03:30)
Stephen looks at tasers from a safe distance and asks Conn Iggulden if it's possible to waterboard Aquaman. (00:35)
Stephen looks forward to a future, post-alien takeover, when the Cleveland Humans take the field. (04:03)
Stephen dismisses Stephen Hawking, interviews Colorado Congresswoman Diana DeGette, and determines what lessons from Hurricane Katrina we can ignore this hurricane season. (0:34)
Stephen Hawking, the Lucasian Professor of Mathematics at Cambridge University, is such an A-Hole. (1:58)
If humans must leave earth because it can no longer sustain life, Stephen will not flee -- he has an appointment with Jesus Christ. (2:58)