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Free birth control will wipe out the American race and instantly turn daughters into wanton harlots with insatiable sexual appetites. (04:42)
The Pigford claims prove that there's money in being a victim, and when something is valuable, white men get to take it. (04:57)
Before the estate tax returns, Stephen will hand-deliver a recordable Christmas card and embroidered pillow to his rich great-uncle. (03:47)
If Americans stop counting, it will end longstanding problems like the census, the deficit and birthdays. (05:04)