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Stephen falsely remembers Allison Silverman as a terrible person so he can feel better about her leaving. (02:26)
Tek Jansen attempts to free some innocent, delicious beings from slavery. (5:12)
Tek Jansen starts his physical conditioning at Alpha Squad Academy. (05:41)
Highlights from the world of Stephen and his guests include surprising news about his portrait, an award, a performance by R.E.M., and a new Tek Jansen adventure. (03:37)
Boycott the Olympics in China? But when else will we get a chance to pole vault over the Great Wall? (0:33)
Tek jets to Galaxy Plaza to train in the art of combat and seduction. (04:40)
A teenage Tek Jansen grows up fast after joining Alpha Squad. (5:12)
Jason Baker performs a live rendering of Tek Jansen's theme song. (1:48)
This is where it began - a teenage Tek Jansen stumbles into his first intergalactic adventure! (4:45)
If NYC Schools Chancellor Joel Klein visits Stephen, then who's chancelling the schools? (0:35)
Tek Jansen's latest adventure is his first adventure, from space dog vending to a fateful fall. (4:42)
Stephen asks if the Democrats should respond to the Republicans' nonbinding resolution with a nonbinding resolution, and expects to have his mind read by guest Steven Pinker. (0:36)
Teks from further and further in the future keep showing up to save kids from each other, deliver messages, and have sex (by accident). (5:12)
Stephen sells Richard Clarke's book with promises of robot sex. (5:17)
The red states may be turning blue, Tek Jansen has a new adventure, and America's taste in food is getting fancier. (0:30)
In this episode, Tek Jansen is mysteriously teleported to the combatosphere orbiting over Asteroid Z. (5:23)
Stephen has advice for the president: send everyone to Iraq. Americans need to sacrifice more. (3:51)
Stephen reports on the Iraq Study Group's latest document, debuts a new Tek Jansen cartoon for the holidays and interviews NYU President John Sexton. (0:34)
Tek Jansen fulfills his oath to the exotic holodancer Eueaiaua to cure Quadrant 5 of the Rasalgethian plague. (4:15)
With Christmas fast approaching, Stephen unveils his line of Colbert Report merchandise. (1:22)