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Anthony Weiner tweets penis pics, StePhest Colbchella '011 rocks The Report, and Colbert PAC becomes a super PAC. (05:33)
Due to a high-fat low-carb diet craze, Norway has no butter and no hope of rebuilding its butter reserves. (03:45)
Herman Cain's ad sends the message that he doesn't just want to be the president of the United States, he wants to be the president of flavor country. (07:51)
Herman Cain picks up all the voters who don't like Mitt Romney, used to like Rick Perry and can't have Chris Christie. (02:59)
Ukranian bears quit vodka cold turkey, a terminator bear hunts Stephen, and a California black bear steals a Prius. (04:48)
In the face of all the mounting evidence for climate change, America has stood with one voice and boldly proclaimed, "Eh." (04:04)
Political junkies get a fix through compulsive donations to presidential campaigns. (02:41)
Free birth control will wipe out the American race and instantly turn daughters into wanton harlots with insatiable sexual appetites. (04:42)
Jack White plans to combine Stephen's qualities with the Black Belles' good looks and musical talent. (06:41)
Stephen admits to petty theft, an art heist and a debilitating meth habit while the news media is distracted with Bin Laden's death. (04:55)
Cece Lederer was injured defending her mom from Ultimate Fighting Champion Brock Lesnar. (01:23)
A Frenchman sues a drug company for making him a gay sex addict, and clowns increase a woman's chance of conception. (06:51)
According to Deepak Chopra, Stephen's dark side is arrogance, but his gift is bringing comic relief to America. (06:53)
Babies can now poop in corn diapers, junk food is addictive, and Jamie Oliver shows American kids how chicken nuggets are made. (05:22)
Florida authorities try to capture a monkey with a drug addiction and two Facebook pages. (03:17)
Ski aerialists Ryan St. Onge and Jeret Peterson can't leave until they admit they have an adrenaline addiction. (06:25)
Frank Bruni talks about mastering his addiction to compulsive eating as a food critic for the New York Times. (05:15)
Joe Sestak is running against Arlen Specter for the Pennsylvania Senate seat so he can bring health care reform to all Americans. (08:11)
The Fairfax County School Board nails a teen junkie for taking birth control in the cafeteria. (04:46)
Cheerios marketing receives FDA scrutiny, soda drinkers face paralysis, and Oprah endorses dubious health advice. (07:17)