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Americans commercialize and groundhog up the ancient Christo-Pagan rite of Candlemas, completely losing sight of its true meaning. (02:33)
Stephen relentlessly chases Jon Stewart through New York City to get his super PAC back. (04:15)
Newt Gingrich gains a powerful supporter, America gets a new look at its founding fathers, and Bjork performs a song. (00:33)
Newt Gingrich picks up support from Herman Cain, Sarah Palin and fellow Newtketeer Randy "Duke" Cunningham. (05:18)
Barack Obama plays the dirty political trick of being irresistibly appealing, the Navy trains dolphins to sweep for mines, and the U.N. receives 35 pounds of cocaine. (06:11)
Drew Barrymore recalls working with Steven Spielberg as a little girl and thinks about recording a whale CD to promote her movie "Big Miracle." (06:22)
Maurice Sendak considers the state of children's literature and gets high on markers. (07:05)
Chinese tycoon and friend of the show Long Liyuan dies after indulging in a poisoned meal of slow-boiled cat-meat stew. (03:45)
Stephen cracks open a can of the premium cat-meat stew that he endorses in China. (00:09)
During a Florida town hall meeting, Rick Santorum fails to correct an elderly woman claiming that Barack Obama is an avowed Muslim and a noncitizen. (03:48)
Stephen reports on the Rock Me Like a Herman Cain South Cain-olina Primary Rally, and Bruce Bueno de Mesquita predicts what world leaders will do. (00:26)
Newt Gingrich seals his victory in the South Carolina primary debates by going after America's most dangerous enemy: debate moderators. (03:19)
Herman Cain beat every candidate in the South Carolina primary who was no longer trying to win, leading Stephen to officially end his presidential exploratory committee. (04:17)
ChristianMingle.com helps Christian singles find God's match for them, and Pastor Ed Young challenges married couples to have seven straight days of sex. (05:20)
Mitt Romney takes New Hampshire, threats from space abound, and George Stephanopoulos reviews the week. (00:35)
Mitt Romney and Jon Huntsman tie in Dixville Notch, and Romney declares that he likes being able to fire people. (05:13)
Bill Moyers believes that capitalism is out of control and there can be no people's democracy as long as corporations are considered people. (06:02)
Pat Robertson plays Twenty Questions with God and finds out that the only way to save America is through overwhelming prayer. (06:02)
Stephen dons a Mayan headdress and pets his chicken. (00:08)
The Colbert Report's official prognosticating snail meditates on the possible outcome of the 2012 Republican caucuses. (02:53)