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Mitt Romney takes New Hampshire, threats from space abound, and George Stephanopoulos reviews the week. (00:35)
Stephen uncovers the Biblical roots of the Snowpocalypse and translates Rush Limbaugh's Chinese broadcast. (04:46)
Ukranian bears quit vodka cold turkey, a terminator bear hunts Stephen, and a California black bear steals a Prius. (04:48)
For too long, the Chinese have been using pandas' cuteness to infiltrate America's heart. (01:16)
Stephen thinks presidents should express our anger for us and vents outrage to a bear at the Humane Society. (02:46)
Ian Frazier describes being on a train for 52 hours and never leaving the Russian forest. (06:09)
A gay editor, a Mexican guy, an imam, a grizzly coddler and a possible robot scare the crap out of Stephen. (06:41)
Stephen knows that Muslims feel anger and gay people are often very sad, but he isn't sure if bears have feelings. (03:59)
Since Oprah won't send Stephen's audience to D.C., he buys them tickets for the Shin Wu Chinatown bus. (03:56)
Kids show their gratitude for donations made to DonorsChoose.org with scary drawings of a shark, a logrolling bat and Conan O'Brien. (03:18)
Police tase an 86-year-old grandma, twice; the Dazer Laser temporarily blinds suspects; and an Alaskan officer makes a bear breakdance. (05:04)
It's not just bears that are out to get us, folks. Stephen exposes the animals who are putting our lives and honey in danger. (03:39)
Mother Earth is out to get us. Put your Styrofoam cup in your ivory cup holder and help Stephen fight back! (04:45)
To protect the Second Amendment, President Obama must nominate Stephen's gun, Sweetness, as the next Supreme Court justice. (01:54)
Stephen's Formula 401: G'Day Egg! was formulated in the bathroom of an Outback Steakhouse. (02:59)
Stephen doesn't see race, but he notices that Ujjal Dosanjh doesn't look Canadian. (06:39)
Creigh Deeds promotes lifetime hunting licenses for babies, and hikers can scare off bears with an iPhone app. (03:29)
Environmentalists target soft toilet paper, Kang Lee exposes the lies parents tell kids, and mountain pine beetles prevent us from shooting bears. (07:14)
Ken Burns believes if America didn't have national parks, the Grand Canyon would be lined with mansions and Yosemite would be a gated community. (05:30)
Even Godless Killing Machines let their young watch Stephen Colbert, if only to teach them how to track their prey. (01:14)