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Stephen decks The Colbert Report studio with a full Advent's worth of cheer. (02:21)
Herman Cain understands domestic issues because he has experience selling pizza, and he understands international issues because pizza is Italian. (04:14)
There's one downside to the United States becoming the only civilized nation without a postal service, but Stephen has just the solution. (03:42)
To reach the unemployed, Barack Obama should deliver his speech when the unemployed are watching TV: at 3 a.m., right after a Slap Chop commercial. (06:01)
Barack Obama throws himself a lavish birthday party instead of working on the economy, so the recession will last four hours longer. (03:34)
Stephen will be at the Federal Election Commission offices filing for an advisory opinion on his super PAC. (00:47)
Stephen will not be satisfied unless the Reagan tribute at the Super Bowl takes up the full halftime show and the third quarter. (03:27)
Ron Reagan helps Stephen remember that his father raised taxes and provided amnesty to illegal immigrants. (04:48)
Michelle Obama vacations in Spain, and Newt Gingrich's narcissistic hypocrisy undermines his moral authority. (08:37)
Stephen doesn't know why he had yesterday off, so to cover his bases, he wishes Martin Luther King Jr. a happy birthday. (00:16)
Stephen reminds Tennessee viewers to vote for Basil Marceaux.com and refuses to celebrate President Obama's birthday. (02:16)
Stephen thinks of ways to stop the Gulf oil spill, and Gary Johnson wants to raise money by legalizing pot. (00:36)
Stephen questions whether kids are too small to fail and asks David Brooks what it's like to be in two dying industries at once. (00:28)
The military responds to the underwear bomber, Zhu Zhu Pets turn on America, and Riley Crane finds 10 balloons. (00:32)
John Pike talks about the popularity of the AK-47 as the Russian designer celebrates his 90th birthday. (05:26)
"Sesame Street" celebrates its 40th birthday, a major newspaper goes glossy, and Christopher Caldwell talks about immigration in Europe. (00:31)
Chicago Public Schools officials appoint Jeremih, the guy who sings "Birthday Sex," as their new back-to-school spokesman. (02:27)
Karl Marx takes gifts from Stephen to give to lazy people who don't deserve nice things. (02:42)
Stephen can't get behind current hits from The Black Eyed Peas, Jeremih and Sean Kingston, so he creates his own song of the summer. (05:55)
Happy Birthday, America's greatest non-Reagan president. (01:52)