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Free birth control will wipe out the American race and instantly turn daughters into wanton harlots with insatiable sexual appetites. (04:42)
To promote fracking, Talisman Energy releases Talisman Terry the Frackosaurus, the funnest energy extraction-based character since Mountaintop Mining Manny. (05:34)
Stephen uses his patented Democrat call to smoke Wisconsin State Senator Jon Erpenbach out of hiding. (05:31)
Iran reveals its diorama technology by unveiling an "ambassador of death" with cardboard clouds, painted backdrops and fake snow. (04:24)
Stephen reviews the movies that are destroying America and talks to Meryl Streep about her role as Julia Child. (00:34)
The founder of a creationist dinosaur theme park refuses to pay taxes, President Obama may be a secret Mormon, and a Jewish man trades kidneys on the black market. (06:00)
Jesus buried the bones of Predator X under the ocean 6,000 years ago to test our faith. (01:24)
Stephen will now have to discriminate under the table, which will be difficult, since that's where he usually does his harassing. (04:02)
Platinum members can now purchase submersible convertibles, dinosaur bones and $100 a cup coffee harvested from Indonesian jungle cat feces. (3:55)
Tek Jansen is dispatched by Senator Depaaa to Space Station Theta-Zeus-Aquarius to rendezvous with the Hgbwian envoy, and now must park his space cruiser. (4:15)
Stephen wades through the multiple Jesi around America in an attempt to single out the real one. (3:20)