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Stephen thanks the heroes for their donations and reveals how Colbert Super PAC will spend its $1 million. (03:58)
Ben & Jerry's releases a 2012 election year package that equates the dominance of Americone Dream with that of the Colbert Super PAC. (04:57)
Chinese tycoon and friend of the show Long Liyuan dies after indulging in a poisoned meal of slow-boiled cat-meat stew. (03:45)
Stephen cracks open a can of the premium cat-meat stew that he endorses in China. (00:09)
Mitt Romney and Jon Huntsman tie in Dixville Notch, and Romney declares that he likes being able to fire people. (05:13)
The Super Bowl of old Midwestern people sitting in folding chairs in a high school gym is upon us. (06:50)
Due to a high-fat low-carb diet craze, Norway has no butter and no hope of rebuilding its butter reserves. (03:45)
Virus-laden pops have the taste kids love with the proven effectiveness of something licked by a stranger, and one person's poop can restore another person's good bacteria. (05:55)
Pushy Pops finally addresses the most annoying part of eating: the pause between putting food in your face and putting more food in your face. (03:49)
According to KPHO, Phoenix's news leader, boys and girls across America are soaking tampons in vodka and literally getting drunk off their asses. (03:48)
China won't bite on Europe's turd panini, so Stephen enlists the help of Hans Beinholtz to tempt possible investors. (05:15)
Rick Perry throws up all over himself at the third Republican debate, and Arizona steals South Carolina's presidential primary date. (06:43)
Chef Anthony Bourdain worries about the ballooning of Americans and occasionally eats endangered birds with a hood over his head. (04:48)
Chinese cows produce human breast milk, America's population of 100-year-olds doubles, and scientists build a robot that can juggle. (05:05)
The newly formed America Plus will still maintain normal diplomatic relations with poor America. (04:38)
Rick Santorum complains about his permanent association with Dan Savage's awful definition. (03:23)
Taco Bell's meat mixture doesn't satisfy the USDA's minimum requirements to be called beef. (03:50)
Famed bullfighter Julio Aparicio gets gored in the throat so deep that the bull's horn comes out of his mouth. (02:52)
Scott Rasmussen explains that Americans like the idea of health care reform, but they don't like the bill in Congress. (09:08)
Scientists discover a parasitic fish off the coast of New Jersey that survives by eating and replacing the host's tongue. (02:05)