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The end of "don't ask, don't tell" forever changes America's perception of its military. (03:40)
Seeing an American flag can shift voters toward republicanism, so Franklin F. Flagworth should be the GOP's frontrunner. (03:17)
Rep. Mike Castle is convinced Barack Obama is an American citizen, despite his constituents' tiny flags and birth certificates wrapped in plastic. (01:30)
Un-American fruit is now the number one snack for children under six, and Cookie Monster's to blame. (5:10)
Stephen helps Barack Obama find a new religion by exploring Hinduism with Hindu Temple Society of North America President Uma Mysorekar. (5:57)
Barack Obama is being praised by every country with access to word processing technology. Sorry, Estonia, maybe next year. (4:36)
Stephen goes through the stages of grief now that the Democratic primaries are over. (2:48)
Media, if you want to prove you did your job well in the lead-up to the Iraq war, use the same techniques that McClellan used to sell the war to you in the first place. (4:14)
Stephen announces a bold new initiative: Stephen Colbert's Total Gas Holiday. (4:18)
In both Iraq and the election, the goal is democracy, and what's more democratic than a campaign that never ends? (4:17)
Stephen believes that ABC did a great job with the one-on-one Clinton vs. Obama Democratic debate, and so does ABC. (3:18)
Stephen tries to make Barack Obama jealous by singing to Michelle Obama. (7:20)
Stephen finds out that the brown-haired guy who isn't Steve Doocy is actually the black-haired guy who isn't Steve Doocy. (2:47)
You don't need a flag pin on your lapel to be a patriot. That's why Stephen has a flag nipple ring. (3:22)
Tad the building manager opens The Stephen Colbert Museum & Gift Shop with a parade, a cheer and a Helen Keller reenactment. (5:42)