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Newt Gingrich explains one of the Constitution's pre-existing conditions, which may lead to the rise of geriatric jihadists. (03:20)
Rush Limbaugh shares his kung pao jibber-jabber and compares NFL games to gang violence. (03:23)
Rush Limbaugh defends his sexist comments, and Steve King makes his case against universal preventative medicine. (03:06)
Rick Santorum prefers incarcerated fathers, and Stephen reveals his affinity for gingerbread men. (02:49)
Stopping illegal immigration may require alligators, moats and electrified fences. (02:58)
Stephen's black friend advises him on how to not seem racist and appeal to black audiences. (03:49)
Stephen's intern is always on hand for non-sexual demonstrations, fake trips to Mars and experimental ophthalmological procedures. (03:56)
When Stephen can't reach Karl Rove, he solicits political advice from a loaf of ham that wears wire-rimmed glasses. (03:19)
Stephen's liberal nemesis attacks genetically modified foods, attends drum circles, and defends Mel Gibson's right to say terrible things. (04:18)
Stephen's building manager oversees a fire drill, finds a girl for Stephen Jr., and keeps Stephen on the straight and narrow-minded. (04:49)
During his military enlistment, Stephen insists on no special treatment and finds a way to connect with a strict drill sergeant. See the exclusive In the Field report. (04:17)
Stephen talks art with Simon de Pury, creates buzz for his portrait, and puts the portrait up for auction. See the exclusive In the Field report. (04:33)
Hugo Vickers prepares Stephen for the royal wedding with etiquette advice on high tea and queen re-inflation. See the exclusive In the Field report. (03:53)
Stephen finds out what speedskating really is and challenges U.S. Olympic speedskater Shani Davis to a race. See the exclusive In the Field report. (04:31)
God punishes the mid-Atlantic states for gayness, Sarah Palin speaks out against government jobs, and John Lithgow looks for Nordic lesbians. (04:13)
Rick Perry's family hunting cabin causes racial controversy; Stephen remembers chosing to be a straight, right-handed, Caucasian male; and Occupy Wall Street goes global. (04:13)
A half-Hispanic Spider-Man steals an American superhero job, and Colbert Super PAC launches its air power for Rick Parry with an "A" in Iowa. (07:33)
Stephen urges Occupy Wall Streeters to accept corporations as people, craps on Jimmy Fallon's Ben & Jerry's flavor and reveals Mitt Romney's safe word. (04:12)
Stephen supports the Christmas lifestyle, arrives late to Anderson Cooper's phallus party and announces his South Carolina Serious, Classy Republican Debate. (03:34)
Germany ranks as the world's least funny country, and Republicans prove that the government doesn't work. (05:48)