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If corporations are people, then Mitt Romney is Mitt the Ripper. (01:00)
Rick Santorum openly condemns gay and lesbian parents, but feels pretty confident that he didn't say "black" people when discussing food stamps. (04:52)
Stephen worries about the fate of his over-the-counter man-seed and responds to non-factual statements by Senator Jon Kyl. (04:41)
TV Hat lets you focus on what matters most by blocking out unnecessary distractions -- like your spouse. (03:14)
Virus-laden pops have the taste kids love with the proven effectiveness of something licked by a stranger, and one person's poop can restore another person's good bacteria. (05:55)
Jon Huntsman's campaign receives financial support from his dad's super PAC, but father and son are not coordinating. (03:30)
According to KPHO, Phoenix's news leader, boys and girls across America are soaking tampons in vodka and literally getting drunk off their asses. (03:48)
Herman Cain understands domestic issues because he has experience selling pizza, and he understands international issues because pizza is Italian. (04:14)
Radiohead's Thom Yorke and Ed O'Brien discuss America's waning interest in global warming and what motivates them to care about the environment. (04:19)
If Americans let the government mandate the HPV vaccine, they might as well let the U.N.'s jackbooted thugs inject their daughters with pharmaceutical-grade slut juice. (04:20)
Since people know how everything ends, they can either worry or they can enjoy the show. (05:21)
Gloria Steinem believes Americans know that women can do what men can do, but they don't know that men can do what women can do. (06:05)
Free birth control will wipe out the American race and instantly turn daughters into wanton harlots with insatiable sexual appetites. (04:42)
The FEC rules on whether Stephen can talk about his PAC on the air, and Timothy Garton Ash believes reporting the facts can change the course of history. (00:39)
Janny Scott thinks the real story of Barack Obama's mother is far more interesting than the oversimplified version. (06:28)
Alaska prohibits the use of tasers for hunting, police subdue a rowdy Pittsburgh Pirates fan, and Gretchen Carlson agrees with disciplining kids with pepper spray. (06:38)
Now that Stephen is Jewish, he is legally obligated to tell you to call your mother. (00:42)
Mike Huckabee is On Notice until he says something that will get him unwanted attention on The Colbert Report. (06:25)
Stephanie Coontz says that women in the 1960s who wanted more in life than to be a housewife were diagnosed with penis envy. (05:50)
Stephen looks at Congressional name-calling, and Amy Chua says Chinese mothers are better than American mothers -- in bed. (00:31)