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There's never been a better time to invest in things that fall off celebrities, and Goldline International executives face fraud and theft charges. (05:09)
The Republican field is a 10-way tie, a music legend gets into trouble, and John Lithgow brings his Emmy over for a play date. (00:29)
The Palin bus arrives in Iowa, and Stephen reveals an ear-sizzling hot-buttered Colbert Super PAC ad that appeals to Iowa's basest kernel instinct. (05:14)
Michele Bachmann announces her candidacy at the second Republican debate, and Tim Pawlenty runs for Mitt Romney's vice president. (08:23)
Osama bin Laden's second-in-command gets passed over for a temp who doesn't even have a beard. (02:49)
The "I want to be able to look my children in the eye" crowd refuses to admit that torture is the real hero behind Bin Laden's death. (06:56)
It's time for America's freeloading seniors to turn on the camera and start giving each other the early bird special. (03:52)
The tech world is rocked as Google catches Bing in the act of copying its search results. (02:23)
Stephen uses the power of time-traveling porn to predict the 2012 presidential election, and Daryl Bem discusses his theory of extrasensory pornception. (07:46)
The TSA offers friendly skies with benefits, Bert moves from PBS to LGBT, and Stephen appeals to an unexpected demographic. (06:47)
Go to DonorsChoose.org, not the crazy porn site, DonorsChoose.com. (00:17)
Poverty in America is at an all-time high, Craigslist shuts down its adult services, and Google CEO Eric Schmidt searches for himself. (00:32)
Stephen closely monitors every ad on Colbertslist to make sure they're free from sexual solicitation. (03:05)
Carl Paladino sends pornographic e-mails to a specific group of friends, and Christine O'Donnell argues that masturbation is adultery. (07:54)
Military contractor David H. Brooks demands a memory-erasing pill that will hide the fact he expensed hookers, porn and plastic surgery. (03:52)
As the polls close in Great Britain's parliamentary election, Andrew Sullivan predicts chaotic results. (05:51)
A former CIA operative admits to lying about the effectiveness of waterboarding, and The Beaver changes its name to Canada's History. (04:50)
The troops aren't allowed to get racy movies overseas, so Stephen sends them some of Tom Hanks' early work. (0:14)
Joe Sestak is running against Arlen Specter for the Pennsylvania Senate seat so he can bring health care reform to all Americans. (08:11)
German archaeologists discover a caveman's porn sculpture 35,000 years after he dies. (01:26)