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While GOP candidates debate their powerlessness to stop negative super PAC ads, the Definitely Not Coordinating with Stephen Colbert Super PAC releases a Herman Cain ad. (08:17)
The Colbert Report's official prognosticating snail meditates on the possible outcome of the 2012 Republican caucuses. (02:53)
The prognosticating snail continues to ponder the GOP presidential candidates. (00:10)
A good Supreme Court justice is a Constitutional scholar first, and a time traveling mind reader second. (03:47)
Clarence Thomas comes under attack for not reporting his wife's income and for dropping by a secret corporate fundraiser. (05:38)
Stephen wonders if ESP exists, covers Taco Bell's broiled controversy and asks Brian Greene if there's a parallel universe where people still buy books. (00:34)
Stephen warned members of the Colbert Nation about thundersnow exactly five years to the day before New York was hit again. (02:13)
Stephen uses the power of time-traveling porn to predict the 2012 presidential election, and Daryl Bem discusses his theory of extrasensory pornception. (07:46)
Four Loko finds a new way to make money off their liver-destroying gutter swill, and horoscopes are off by one month. (05:46)
The important thing for every American to remember about the midterm elections is that this is how it will be forever. (02:36)
Stephen resurrects the U.S. military technique of staring at a goat to make its heart explode. (03:35)
Jon Ronson explains why the U.S. military trained soldiers to use sparkly eyes on the enemy and kill goats with their minds. (04:24)