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Barack Obama plays the dirty political trick of being irresistibly appealing, the Navy trains dolphins to sweep for mines, and the U.N. receives 35 pounds of cocaine. (06:11)
Newt Gingrich gains momentum from his strong South Carolina debate performance, and Mitt Romney takes tough questions about his tax returns. (03:44)
Part-time weather balloon Rush Limbaugh exposes the government-manufactured heat index conspiracy, while SpongeBob brainwashes kids with global warming propaganda. (04:59)
Free birth control will wipe out the American race and instantly turn daughters into wanton harlots with insatiable sexual appetites. (04:42)
After a lengthy hearing, heavily peppered with arcane bureaucratic jargon, the FEC allows Stephen to form his Super PAC. (04:06)
The Miami Heat falls to the Dallas Mavericks, FIFA attempts to recruit Henry Kissinger, and freestyle canoe dancing gets exciting. (07:17)
The FAA needs to put sleepy air traffic controllers in coach seats, Casio becomes the wristwatch of terrorists, and the postal service prints the wrong Lady Liberty. (03:55)
Barack Obama needs to use graphs and charts in his speeches if he wants to keep people's attention. (02:24)
If you are watching the 1:30 p.m. rebroadcast, clearly you called in sick to work. (00:38)
In Stephen's world, floors are just walls that are too lazy to stand, and your 2.5 kids are too lazy to round themselves up. (02:37)
President Obama's announcement of the impending conclusion of the Iraq war isn't a declaration of victory -- it's a pizza delivery slogan. (07:19)
Viewers with obsessive-compulsive disorder are going to want to turn off the TV, turn it back on again, then turn it back off. (00:44)
Before Stephen can land the space shuttle, he needs to know how to fly it in five words or less. (05:33)
Father Guido Sarducci told Glenn Beck his work was wildly important at the Vatican, but he thought he was talking to Jeff Beck. (05:20)
Obama unites the country with his speech addressing the BP oil spill, and Stephen finds an alternative energy source in Devo's belongings. (04:33)
Cell phones may prevent Alzheimer's, the FDA approves a jet lag remedy, and a new drug boosts the female libido. (05:44)
The Flaming Lips' Wayne Coyne and Deerhunter's Bradford Cox talk trash about each other's green room habits. (02:28)
Chellie Pingree doesn't have to explain why Portland has the nation's third largest concentration of women living together -- it's just hot. (05:22)
Senator Wences asks Sonia Sotomayor the tough questions while still maintaining cultural sensitivity. (04:50)
Normally, Stephen wouldn't think twice about soccer, but that was before the U.S. was good at it. (04:37)